Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
