I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
