i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
