She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
thus making me awesome and them whores
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
