do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
