Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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