My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
