Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
