She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
