I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
