He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
