I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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