I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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