if you like me you must not know who I am
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
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do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
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She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I party with great urgency now.
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