you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
