Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
