she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
