I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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