he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize