Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
