make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
