Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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