If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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