What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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