Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
