so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
