My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
