Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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