Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
