doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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