all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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