its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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