i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
