omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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