This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
