SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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