Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
