don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
