Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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