I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
