Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
