Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
