So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
