He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just had sex on a roof
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
