Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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