Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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