I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Randomize
