Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
