So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you traded sex for a burrito?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.