the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.