ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.