sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
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Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
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I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch