My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well