...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
