She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
worst night to have a conscience
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
