Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
