Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
