yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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