Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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