i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
