Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
