Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
