so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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