dude i'm inner monologue high
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
