i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
