She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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