Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I pour the whiskey from now on
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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