You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
