you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You are the jesus of drinking
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
