i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
