For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
