She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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