Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Im part way to drunk.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
